When Are you Going to Realize That You’re Actually Fucking Killing It?!

So, I haven’t been as grateful as I should be this last year and it sucks. I have been so wrapped up in negativity and being worried, that I’ve been ignoring the wins I’ve been having. I don’t know about you but, it’s so damn hard for me to see the good that’s right in front of me. It’s literally jumping up and down in my face waving it’s hands and yelling my name but, still, I choose to focus on the negativity.

Like, what the hell is that about?

Let me give you some examples. Fair warning they’ll make you want to cuss me out. Last year was a pretty rough year for me in terms of business. Some of my client base was a little inconsistent which led me to struggle a financially. As you can imagine that started to take a toll on me and imposter syndrome started to creep back in. I was really beginning to doubt myself. I almost thought my business wasn’t worth it. This year things are a lot more stable, but I keep focusing on my business not being where I would like it to be. You see how I sprinkle a little bit of negativity in with the positive? I know. I can feel you rolling your eyes. Trust me you’re not the only one. I’ve been choosing to focus on the lack of growth instead of the fact that I’ve almost doubled my business revenue since last year. Or the fact that I’ve signed another amazing client a few months ago. For anyone else these would be major wins. To me, I shrug my shoulders and feel like I need to work harder. Even writing this makes me cringe at how blind I am to my progress.

You see what I mean?

I feel like if I get too comfortable then the progress will stop. How about struggling with raising my rates for two years, finally pulling the trigger and making it a reality for 2023? I didn’t even celebrate that for myself. Yes, I did the obligatory social media update but, I didn’t truly give myself a pat on the back. It’s almost like I checked this one worry off of my list and jumped right into the next one. I never know how to sit in my accomplishments and take it all in. I constantly have this feeling of things not being enough and it’s seriously killing my “Boss Babe” vibes.

So, what’s the plan?

From now on I want to be more open to receiving my wins and not automatically thinking of the next hard task I think I need to accomplish. This year was better than last, and I know next year will be even better. Practicing mindfulness within my business and myself for 2023 to help clean up these mental bad habits is the first thing on my list. It’s definitely hard to unlearn the negative mindset I’ve created over the years but I’m no longer willing to let it stunt my growth.

I don’t know if it’s the holidays coming up or what but, I probably should show a little more gratitude to myself and my business. After all, it’s helping me build the life I’ve always dreamed of having for so many years. I realize I’ve been manifesting this dream life and it doesn’t just happen overnight. These things take time and giving up over a few bumps in the road is never an option.

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2 thoughts on “When Are you Going to Realize That You’re Actually Fucking Killing It?!

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